THE VOODOO CHICKEN
YOU CAN SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT SUPERSTITIOUS, BUT IF THAT WAS THE WAY YOU WERE RAISED, IT'S HARD, SO VERY HARD TO OVERCOME. IT IS A SUBCONSCIOUS REFLEX TO THE THINGS THAT "GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT". TO SOME DEGREE WE ALL ARE AFRAID OF THINGS THAT WE CAN NOT SEE OR EXPLAIN, IT IS JUST HUMAN NATURE. THEN THERE ARE THOSE THAT LET SUPERSTITION GUIDE THEIR LIVES.
IN THE EARLY 1970'S, I WORKED AT THE NEWNAN POLICE DEPARTMENT. IT WAS AT A TIME BEFORE ALL THE URBAN SPRAWL THAT IS NOW PART OF NEWNAN. BACK THEN THE SHIFT CHANGE AT THE FACTORIES WAS AT 11pm. AT THAT TIME EVERYTHING THAT HAD BEEN OPEN CLOSED; GAS STATIONS(THERE WERE NO CONVENIENCE STORES), BURGER JOINTS, BEER JOINTS, EVERYTHING. AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE DAY THE "YELLOW BOY", A STYLE OF WAFFLE HOUSE, OPENED ALL-NIGHT IN NEWNAN, WE ALL THOUGHT WE HAD COME OF AGE.
THIS STORY TAKES PLACE WHEN THINGS CLOSED AT 11pm AND THERE WAS NOT A MORSEL OF FOOD TO BE HAD BEFORE 5am THE NEXT MORNING AT HAWK'S CAFE ON JACKSON STREET.
HERE IS HOW THE HIERARCHY OF OUR POLICE DEPARTMENT WENT. THE LIEUTENANT AND WHO EVER WAS RIDING WITH HIM GOT TO GO FIRST FOR CHOW OR COFFEE BREAKS. THE SERGEANT AND WHO EVER WAS WITH HIM GOT TO TO GO NEXT AND SO ON BY SENIORITY. THE LT. WAS STICKLER FOR KEEPING WITHIN THE TIME LIMITS, AS THE DEPARTMENT WAS STRICT ABOUT THIS. OF COURSE, AS WITH ANY GROUP OF GUYS THAT WORK AND PLAY TOGETHER, YOU COULD SWAP AROUND THE BREAK ORDER IF THE LT. WAS IN A GOOD MOOD.
ONE OF THE JOBS ON THE POLICE DEPARTMENT IN NEWNAN WAS "WALKING THE SQUARE", THIS SIMPLY MEANT MAKING SEVERAL ROUNDS ON FOOT, CHECKING ALL THE WINDOWS AND DOORS IN THE DOWNTOWN AREA. MOST GUYS HATED IT AND WOULD "PIMP YOU OUT" TO GET OUT OF THEIR TURN ON THE SQUARE. I, ON THE OTHER HAND, LOOKED FORWARD TO IT AND WOULD EVEN VOLUNTEER, MAKING LT. SMITH WONDER WHAT I WAS UP TO (MORE TALES ON THAT AT A LATER DATE). STROLLING AROUND TOWN, NOT HAVING TO ANSWER STUPID CALLS OR CHECK THE HUBCAPS AT THE CAR LOTS, OR EVERY WINDOW AT EVERY SCHOOL, AND A DOZEN OTHER MUNDANE THINGS. YOU ALSO DID NOT HAVE TO WRITE TICKETS ON SQUARE DUTY. REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD OR BELIEVE, DEPARTMENTS EXPECT EACH OFFICER TO WRITE A MINIMUM OF TICKETS-----GET IT!
ONE PARTICULARLY UNEVENTFUL SUMMER NIGHT I WAS ON THE SQUARE MAKING MY APPOINTED ROUNDS. NOW AS I HAVE SAID, THEY ROLLED UP THE SIDEWALKS BEFORE MIDNIGHT AND IT WAS UNUSUAL FOR TRAFFIC TO COME ACROSS THE SQUARE, MAKING GUARDING MY POST THAT MUCH EASIER. THE ONLY CONSTANT WERE THE CHICKEN TRUCKS, WHICH OPERATE AFTER DARK FOR SPECIAL REASONS. IF YOU ARE ON THE HIGHWAY MUCH AT ALL AND HAVE EVER NOTICED THOSE TRUCKS, YOU MIGHT HAVE OBSERVED THAT THE CHICKENS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS WHITE. SOMETHING ELSE THAT WAS CONSTANT IN THE DAYS WHEN THEY STILL USED WOODEN CRATES, YOU COULD ALWAYS SEE A STRAY BIRD OR TWO ON TOP OF THE TRUCK. AS THE TRUCK WOULD COME INTO TOWN, MAKING STOPS AT THE LIGHTS, THE BRAVEST OF THE POULTRY WOULD MAKE THEIR ESCAPE. AFTER HAVING BEEN TRANSPORTED IN A SQUATTING POSITION (THIS KEEPS THEM FROM RUNNING OFF AT THE PROCESSING PLANT), WHEN THEY MAKE THEIR JUMP IT IS HARD FOR THEM TO EVADE THE EVER WATCHFUL POLICE OFFICER THAT WANTS A FREE CHICKEN DINNER.
EVERY SO OFTEN, LIKE THAT ONCE IN A BLUE MOON THING, THERE WILL BE A CHICKEN THAT IS NOT WHITE. ON THE NIGHT OF THIS STORY, IT WAS A BLACK CHICKEN THAT I FOUND TRYING TO START A NEW LIFE AWAY FROM THE CAMPBELL'S SOUP FACTORY. IT TOOK NO SPECIAL EFFORT TO GRAB THE BEAST. NOW I LIKE CHICKEN AS WELL AS THE NEXT PERSON, HOWEVER, I DO NOT LIKE PROCESSING THE FOWL. I CALLED LT. SMITH TO MEET ME ON THE SQUARE AND OFFERED THE BIRD TO HIM. HE HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO AFTER HE GOT OFF DUTY AND DECIDED THAT HE DID NOT NEED IT EITHER. I SAID AS HOW I HATED TO WASTE THE CHICKEN, WE SHOULD OFFER IT TO ROB (SGT. ROBERT EDGEWORTH). LT. SMITH AGREED AS A SLY SMILE CAME ACROSS HIS FACE.
"CAR 1 TO CAR 2."
"CAR2, GO AHEAD LT. SMITH."
"ROB, YOU AND GRIFFIN (OFFICER WALTER GRIFFIN) GO AHEAD TO BREAKFAST FIRST, I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TODAY."
"WELL, AH, OK, THANKS."
ALTHOUGH THIS WAS VERY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR LT. DAVID SMITH, ROB AND WALTER NONETHELESS TOOK HIM UP ON HIS OFFER AND AT 5am, WHEN THE CAFE OPENED, PULLED UP AND WENT IN. ANOTHER TRADITION THAT WE HAD WAS THAT WHOEVER DROVE FIRST WOULD SWITCH OUT AFTER CHOW. WELL THE SGT. HAD BEEN DRIVING THE FIRST LEG AS WAS HIS CUSTOM AND LT. SMITH KNEW THAT HE WOULD HAVE WALTER DRIVE AFTER THEY ATE. THE LT. AND I WERE HIDING IN THE SHADOWS WHEN THE POLICE CRUISER PULLED UP IN FRONT OF THE CAFE. WE COULD SEE THEM INSIDE AS THEY ATE, THEY COULD NOT SEE US THOUGH. WE WALKED AS QUIETLY AS POSSIBLE TO THEIR CAR AND THE LT. OPENED THE DOOR ON THE PASSENGER'S SIDE AS I PLACED THE BLACK CHICKEN ON THE BLACK FLOOR MAT AND IT SEEMED TO DISAPPEAR. WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT LAUGH WHEN ROB STEPPED ON THE CHICKEN.
THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH BIRD REGAINED ENOUGH MOBILITY TO CRAWL OVER THE TRANSMISSION HUMP AND LODGE ITSELF UNDER THE BRAKE PEDAL. ROB AND WALTER CAME OUT OF THE CAFE DEAD ON TIME, LAUGHING AT A JOKE ONE OF THEM HAD JUST TOLD. JUST AS WALTER SAT BEHIND THE STEERING WHEEL, HE DEPRESSED THE BRAKE PEDAL AS HE WAS ABOUT TO START THE CAR. THAT CHICKEN LET OUT A DEATH SQUAWK THAT COULD SURELY HAVE BEEN HEARD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SQUARE. AT THE SAME TIME WALTER BOLTED OUT OF THE CAR, HOPPING ON HIS LEFT LEG LIKE IT WAS A POGO STICK, DREW HIS .357 MAGNUM AND FIRED A SHOT INTO THE FLOOR BOARD. DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT WALTER WAS WOUND A LITTLE TOO TIGHT? FOR THAT REASON ALONE WE WOULD NOT HAVE PUT THE CHICKEN ON HIS SIDE. AND THEN THERE WAS OLD ROB, FULL OF BREAKFAST, WANTING TO LIGHT UP HIS PIPE, WHEN A CRAZY ROOKIE SHOOTS A HOLE IN THE FLOOR OF A CAR ISSUED TO HIM.
OOPS! THE EVER QUICK THINKING LT. TOLD THE ONLY OTHER CUSTOMER AT THE CAFE AS HE CAME OUT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON THAT THE POLICE CAR HAD JUMPED TIME AND WAS BACKFIRING. HE TOLD WALTER AND ROB TO MEET HIM AT THE OFFICE.
AT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT, LT. SMITH SWITCHED THE FLOOR MATS WITH THOSE OF ANOTHER CAR TO COVER THE BULLET HOLE. PROBLEM SOLVED! YOU MIGHT THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE A BIG DEAL, BUT BELIEVE ME, THIS WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO SOME OF THE THINGS THAT WENT ON THERE.
WELL, "DEAD-EYE" GRIFFIN AND HIS CANNON MISSED THE CHICKEN COMPLETELY AND ROB, NOT WANTING TO WASTE THE CHICKEN, TOOK IT AND PUT IN A BOX ON THE BACK OF HIS TRUCK. EVERYTHING BACK TO NORMAL, THE LT. AND I WENT TO BREAKFAST. ON THE WAY HOME, ROB GOT TO THINKING OF ALL THAT HE HAD TO DO, SO HE STOPPED AT THE TRAILER OF A GUY THAT WORKED FOR HIM SOMETIMES. SINCE IT WAS STILL EARLY, ROB JUST PUT THE CHICKEN BETWEEN THE THE SCREEN AND THE DOOR AND WENT ON HOME AND DID NOT GIVE IT ANOTHER THOUGHT, HIS GOOD DEED FOR THE DAY BEING DONE.
A FEW WEEKS LATER ROB STOPPED AT THE SAME TRAILER TO GE THE MAN TO HELP HIM DO SOME FARM WORK. THE TRAILER WAS EMPTY, DOORS STANDING OPEN, NO SIGN OF LIFE TO BE FOUND. AS ROB STOOD THERE SCRATCHING HIS HEAD, WONDERING WHAT WAS GOING ON, THE MAN NEXT DOOR CAME UP.
"HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO OLE WALLY? I NEEDED HIM TO HELP ME PULL STUMPS TODAY."
"OH, MR. ROB, IT'S BAD, IT'S REAL BAD! SOMEBODY DONE PUT THE VOODOO CURSE ON HIM!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SAM?"
"WELL, IN THE NIGHT WHILE EVERYBODY WAS SLEEPING, SOMEBODY SNEAKED UP ON THE PORCH AND PUT A BLACK CHICKEN ON HIS DOOR. THAT MEANS SOMEBODIES GONNA DIE IF THEY STAY THERE. HELL, THEY WAS PACKED UP AND GONE BY LUNCHTIME!"
AS ROB DROVE OFF, HE JUST SHOOK HIS HEAD AND MUTTERED, "THAT DAMN CHICKEN."
larrycook351@gmail.com
706-302-8902
IN THE EARLY 1970'S, I WORKED AT THE NEWNAN POLICE DEPARTMENT. IT WAS AT A TIME BEFORE ALL THE URBAN SPRAWL THAT IS NOW PART OF NEWNAN. BACK THEN THE SHIFT CHANGE AT THE FACTORIES WAS AT 11pm. AT THAT TIME EVERYTHING THAT HAD BEEN OPEN CLOSED; GAS STATIONS(THERE WERE NO CONVENIENCE STORES), BURGER JOINTS, BEER JOINTS, EVERYTHING. AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE DAY THE "YELLOW BOY", A STYLE OF WAFFLE HOUSE, OPENED ALL-NIGHT IN NEWNAN, WE ALL THOUGHT WE HAD COME OF AGE.
THIS STORY TAKES PLACE WHEN THINGS CLOSED AT 11pm AND THERE WAS NOT A MORSEL OF FOOD TO BE HAD BEFORE 5am THE NEXT MORNING AT HAWK'S CAFE ON JACKSON STREET.
HERE IS HOW THE HIERARCHY OF OUR POLICE DEPARTMENT WENT. THE LIEUTENANT AND WHO EVER WAS RIDING WITH HIM GOT TO GO FIRST FOR CHOW OR COFFEE BREAKS. THE SERGEANT AND WHO EVER WAS WITH HIM GOT TO TO GO NEXT AND SO ON BY SENIORITY. THE LT. WAS STICKLER FOR KEEPING WITHIN THE TIME LIMITS, AS THE DEPARTMENT WAS STRICT ABOUT THIS. OF COURSE, AS WITH ANY GROUP OF GUYS THAT WORK AND PLAY TOGETHER, YOU COULD SWAP AROUND THE BREAK ORDER IF THE LT. WAS IN A GOOD MOOD.
ONE OF THE JOBS ON THE POLICE DEPARTMENT IN NEWNAN WAS "WALKING THE SQUARE", THIS SIMPLY MEANT MAKING SEVERAL ROUNDS ON FOOT, CHECKING ALL THE WINDOWS AND DOORS IN THE DOWNTOWN AREA. MOST GUYS HATED IT AND WOULD "PIMP YOU OUT" TO GET OUT OF THEIR TURN ON THE SQUARE. I, ON THE OTHER HAND, LOOKED FORWARD TO IT AND WOULD EVEN VOLUNTEER, MAKING LT. SMITH WONDER WHAT I WAS UP TO (MORE TALES ON THAT AT A LATER DATE). STROLLING AROUND TOWN, NOT HAVING TO ANSWER STUPID CALLS OR CHECK THE HUBCAPS AT THE CAR LOTS, OR EVERY WINDOW AT EVERY SCHOOL, AND A DOZEN OTHER MUNDANE THINGS. YOU ALSO DID NOT HAVE TO WRITE TICKETS ON SQUARE DUTY. REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD OR BELIEVE, DEPARTMENTS EXPECT EACH OFFICER TO WRITE A MINIMUM OF TICKETS-----GET IT!
ONE PARTICULARLY UNEVENTFUL SUMMER NIGHT I WAS ON THE SQUARE MAKING MY APPOINTED ROUNDS. NOW AS I HAVE SAID, THEY ROLLED UP THE SIDEWALKS BEFORE MIDNIGHT AND IT WAS UNUSUAL FOR TRAFFIC TO COME ACROSS THE SQUARE, MAKING GUARDING MY POST THAT MUCH EASIER. THE ONLY CONSTANT WERE THE CHICKEN TRUCKS, WHICH OPERATE AFTER DARK FOR SPECIAL REASONS. IF YOU ARE ON THE HIGHWAY MUCH AT ALL AND HAVE EVER NOTICED THOSE TRUCKS, YOU MIGHT HAVE OBSERVED THAT THE CHICKENS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS WHITE. SOMETHING ELSE THAT WAS CONSTANT IN THE DAYS WHEN THEY STILL USED WOODEN CRATES, YOU COULD ALWAYS SEE A STRAY BIRD OR TWO ON TOP OF THE TRUCK. AS THE TRUCK WOULD COME INTO TOWN, MAKING STOPS AT THE LIGHTS, THE BRAVEST OF THE POULTRY WOULD MAKE THEIR ESCAPE. AFTER HAVING BEEN TRANSPORTED IN A SQUATTING POSITION (THIS KEEPS THEM FROM RUNNING OFF AT THE PROCESSING PLANT), WHEN THEY MAKE THEIR JUMP IT IS HARD FOR THEM TO EVADE THE EVER WATCHFUL POLICE OFFICER THAT WANTS A FREE CHICKEN DINNER.
EVERY SO OFTEN, LIKE THAT ONCE IN A BLUE MOON THING, THERE WILL BE A CHICKEN THAT IS NOT WHITE. ON THE NIGHT OF THIS STORY, IT WAS A BLACK CHICKEN THAT I FOUND TRYING TO START A NEW LIFE AWAY FROM THE CAMPBELL'S SOUP FACTORY. IT TOOK NO SPECIAL EFFORT TO GRAB THE BEAST. NOW I LIKE CHICKEN AS WELL AS THE NEXT PERSON, HOWEVER, I DO NOT LIKE PROCESSING THE FOWL. I CALLED LT. SMITH TO MEET ME ON THE SQUARE AND OFFERED THE BIRD TO HIM. HE HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO AFTER HE GOT OFF DUTY AND DECIDED THAT HE DID NOT NEED IT EITHER. I SAID AS HOW I HATED TO WASTE THE CHICKEN, WE SHOULD OFFER IT TO ROB (SGT. ROBERT EDGEWORTH). LT. SMITH AGREED AS A SLY SMILE CAME ACROSS HIS FACE.
"CAR 1 TO CAR 2."
"CAR2, GO AHEAD LT. SMITH."
"ROB, YOU AND GRIFFIN (OFFICER WALTER GRIFFIN) GO AHEAD TO BREAKFAST FIRST, I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TODAY."
"WELL, AH, OK, THANKS."
ALTHOUGH THIS WAS VERY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR LT. DAVID SMITH, ROB AND WALTER NONETHELESS TOOK HIM UP ON HIS OFFER AND AT 5am, WHEN THE CAFE OPENED, PULLED UP AND WENT IN. ANOTHER TRADITION THAT WE HAD WAS THAT WHOEVER DROVE FIRST WOULD SWITCH OUT AFTER CHOW. WELL THE SGT. HAD BEEN DRIVING THE FIRST LEG AS WAS HIS CUSTOM AND LT. SMITH KNEW THAT HE WOULD HAVE WALTER DRIVE AFTER THEY ATE. THE LT. AND I WERE HIDING IN THE SHADOWS WHEN THE POLICE CRUISER PULLED UP IN FRONT OF THE CAFE. WE COULD SEE THEM INSIDE AS THEY ATE, THEY COULD NOT SEE US THOUGH. WE WALKED AS QUIETLY AS POSSIBLE TO THEIR CAR AND THE LT. OPENED THE DOOR ON THE PASSENGER'S SIDE AS I PLACED THE BLACK CHICKEN ON THE BLACK FLOOR MAT AND IT SEEMED TO DISAPPEAR. WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT LAUGH WHEN ROB STEPPED ON THE CHICKEN.
THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH BIRD REGAINED ENOUGH MOBILITY TO CRAWL OVER THE TRANSMISSION HUMP AND LODGE ITSELF UNDER THE BRAKE PEDAL. ROB AND WALTER CAME OUT OF THE CAFE DEAD ON TIME, LAUGHING AT A JOKE ONE OF THEM HAD JUST TOLD. JUST AS WALTER SAT BEHIND THE STEERING WHEEL, HE DEPRESSED THE BRAKE PEDAL AS HE WAS ABOUT TO START THE CAR. THAT CHICKEN LET OUT A DEATH SQUAWK THAT COULD SURELY HAVE BEEN HEARD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SQUARE. AT THE SAME TIME WALTER BOLTED OUT OF THE CAR, HOPPING ON HIS LEFT LEG LIKE IT WAS A POGO STICK, DREW HIS .357 MAGNUM AND FIRED A SHOT INTO THE FLOOR BOARD. DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT WALTER WAS WOUND A LITTLE TOO TIGHT? FOR THAT REASON ALONE WE WOULD NOT HAVE PUT THE CHICKEN ON HIS SIDE. AND THEN THERE WAS OLD ROB, FULL OF BREAKFAST, WANTING TO LIGHT UP HIS PIPE, WHEN A CRAZY ROOKIE SHOOTS A HOLE IN THE FLOOR OF A CAR ISSUED TO HIM.
OOPS! THE EVER QUICK THINKING LT. TOLD THE ONLY OTHER CUSTOMER AT THE CAFE AS HE CAME OUT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON THAT THE POLICE CAR HAD JUMPED TIME AND WAS BACKFIRING. HE TOLD WALTER AND ROB TO MEET HIM AT THE OFFICE.
AT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT, LT. SMITH SWITCHED THE FLOOR MATS WITH THOSE OF ANOTHER CAR TO COVER THE BULLET HOLE. PROBLEM SOLVED! YOU MIGHT THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE A BIG DEAL, BUT BELIEVE ME, THIS WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO SOME OF THE THINGS THAT WENT ON THERE.
WELL, "DEAD-EYE" GRIFFIN AND HIS CANNON MISSED THE CHICKEN COMPLETELY AND ROB, NOT WANTING TO WASTE THE CHICKEN, TOOK IT AND PUT IN A BOX ON THE BACK OF HIS TRUCK. EVERYTHING BACK TO NORMAL, THE LT. AND I WENT TO BREAKFAST. ON THE WAY HOME, ROB GOT TO THINKING OF ALL THAT HE HAD TO DO, SO HE STOPPED AT THE TRAILER OF A GUY THAT WORKED FOR HIM SOMETIMES. SINCE IT WAS STILL EARLY, ROB JUST PUT THE CHICKEN BETWEEN THE THE SCREEN AND THE DOOR AND WENT ON HOME AND DID NOT GIVE IT ANOTHER THOUGHT, HIS GOOD DEED FOR THE DAY BEING DONE.
A FEW WEEKS LATER ROB STOPPED AT THE SAME TRAILER TO GE THE MAN TO HELP HIM DO SOME FARM WORK. THE TRAILER WAS EMPTY, DOORS STANDING OPEN, NO SIGN OF LIFE TO BE FOUND. AS ROB STOOD THERE SCRATCHING HIS HEAD, WONDERING WHAT WAS GOING ON, THE MAN NEXT DOOR CAME UP.
"HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO OLE WALLY? I NEEDED HIM TO HELP ME PULL STUMPS TODAY."
"OH, MR. ROB, IT'S BAD, IT'S REAL BAD! SOMEBODY DONE PUT THE VOODOO CURSE ON HIM!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SAM?"
"WELL, IN THE NIGHT WHILE EVERYBODY WAS SLEEPING, SOMEBODY SNEAKED UP ON THE PORCH AND PUT A BLACK CHICKEN ON HIS DOOR. THAT MEANS SOMEBODIES GONNA DIE IF THEY STAY THERE. HELL, THEY WAS PACKED UP AND GONE BY LUNCHTIME!"
AS ROB DROVE OFF, HE JUST SHOOK HIS HEAD AND MUTTERED, "THAT DAMN CHICKEN."
larrycook351@gmail.com
706-302-8902
